Spring Cleaning

Went over to my apartment yesterday and I realised why my life is so cluttered. Ever since I moved back to London, my things are still packed in brown boxes, my clothes still packed in suitcases, my paintings wrapped in old newspaper on the floor and dont even get me started on the things I brought back from Nigeria. Ok, fair enough, I moved back to London just about a month before I went to Nigeria, so really I didn't have that much time to unpack. So I decided I'll do everything when I get back from Nigeria. After about 2months there, I came back and guess what, I added 2 more suitcases of clothes and shoes to it.

Months and months after, I keep telling myself - I'll do it tomorrow, for sure. But I guess my tomorrow is taking its time cause I am still living off my medium-sized LV weekend bag which includes my favourite bubu (that's all I wear all day). Do you know that the less things you have, the less stress one gets. As in for almost 3 months now, everything I have worn came out of that bag, like magic! (Ok and maybe sharing my siblings clothes...lol).

So I am thinking to myself, how am I meant to know where I want to be mentally when physically my road is packed with expensive junk, like I can not even switch on the lights without falling let alone climb up the stairs safely or go to the toilet. My problem is I detest London with every passion in me. I think it is way too overrated. I really don't know what the hype is all about. Everything is "nicely" overcharged/overpriced. Everyone is in a hurry to get nowhere.
Subconsciously, this has aided in me not really looking for a job as I should be.

Mentally, my mind is like my flat. Too many things left unattended to, things left wandering around, things unpacked. Like, one minute I am totally ready to move back to Nigeria to work and start a business, I guess in a way that's why I haven't unpacked my things. Then there is the issue of staying in London, do I want to work in London or move back outside London and get a job there?

So I figured since the clock officially goes back on Sunday, I will be renewing my life. With tears streaming down my face, I have set 5 simple new goals, 5 things I've to target and do for self happiness.

1. Stay Focused - I really need to snap back into reality and not lose focus of my lifetime goals. As my little brother, Kayode, said, I easily allow myself to get distracted and yes I agree with him. I need to step away from the internet and stop watching every day TV shows on TV. Also I have to be focused to achieve and stick to these goals.
2. Think less of ButterScotch - Seeing that I only create more void within me, so rather I'll spend each minute I think about ButterScotch on God instead, seeing that I owe HIM alot of thanks for bringing me this far and for making things I thought were impossible a thing of the past.
3. Stay in London - At the end of the day, I know London is my capital city, in order for me to move back to Nigeria and live as comfortably as I am here (ok maybe not right now), I have to have traded in my hardwork for raw cash and London is really where I can make alot of capital to stabilise anything/everything I want to do in Nigeria. So for now, I will focus on making London work for me.
4. Finally unpack everything I have in boxes including the batch in my Mumma's garage.
5. Admit that yes, I am a tad bit lazy, so I need to get off my butt cause the internet is not the only way to get a job.

With all these said and done, I am going to allow myself now to keep crying. I swear I need a good cry to wash away my laziness and to clear my head and also to prepare my mind for my Spring. So rather than look for jobs today, I am taking today off to have a well deserved good cry.