MyGuy, RAFRA
Right, done with cooking, the pottage came out really nice even the pepper chicken and gizzard sauce. Do you know that if I say a prayer (silent little prayer oh, nothing major) before I start cooking, with alot of love and a dash of passion, the food comes out really sweet. You see I have a passion for food, I love cooking for people and I love seeing people enjoy my food. I can cook everything from the baddest lasagne to the sweetest yoruba dish one can think of. My Mumma knows this, that's why she has insisted on no one but me to cook whenever I am in her house.
I have my own place, but seeing that I have no job, I figured it's cheaper for me to stay at my Mumma's till I get a job (atleast I can eat as much as I want here and I will also be warm here-I have no money for heating at my place let alone buy food), I think She knows I am using her, so she's using me too.
So back to MyGuy, ButterScotch (obviously I can't use his real name, so I'll call him my fav sweet), a friend of mine tried to hook me up with ButterScotch in 2002 but I wasn't interested after a couple of conversations over the phone. Then summer 2003 at a paticular house party in Neasden, I saw the buffest guy there checking me out, after so many eye flirting, smiles and lip licking he eventually came up to me to ask for my name. We got talking all night and I was very quick to give him my number. Of course He waited 2days before He called me and it turned out His phone number was already stored in my phone, then it became obvious that he was a previous toaster, you see in London, once you get to meet all the guys here, you start again from the very beginning, in my case the new toasters I meet now, they have already approached me before some I can remember exactly when & where, some I cant even remember but then, their number would appear on my phone, I usually do the collecting of numbers from most guys.
Oh yeah ButterScotch, we ended up talking every day and I guess our fondness for each other grew cos all of a sudden he started asking for a much serious relationship. The thing is, as time grew by, I got really scared, scared of a relationship with him, cos I knew it would have been deep and I wasn't ready for that, I know some might think I am not making sense, but I run away from things that will make my heart bleed, I run from love, I run from any situation where I have to trust someone, I run from too much affection from guys, I admit I am a self-confessed Runaway-From-Relationship Addict (RAFRA). I switch off completely when I hear the words 'FOREVER' 'SERIOUS' or even 'FUTURE'. So, even when I meet someone I know I can like alot, the minute he starts talking deep, I start looking for faults from the littlest thing he does/says. Unfortunately ButterScotch came at the wrong time, He came when I wasn't looking for anything serious (as always) and there was no room for love in my plan for that year. I had so many things planned out and I needed to stay focus, so I toughened up and pulled out my extra tough cookie exterior, ButterScotch went nowhere, he was determined to break every shell of mine (that was his fav line), he tried and tried not a crack. He never gave up on me. Then of course I started looking for faults and making excuses with my girls why I don't need him in my life so they can be on my team.
In life no matter how much you try and deny something, your inner gutts always overflow in order to remind you of what you are trying to hide. I need to get offline now, my brother says I should bounce.
I have my own place, but seeing that I have no job, I figured it's cheaper for me to stay at my Mumma's till I get a job (atleast I can eat as much as I want here and I will also be warm here-I have no money for heating at my place let alone buy food), I think She knows I am using her, so she's using me too.
So back to MyGuy, ButterScotch (obviously I can't use his real name, so I'll call him my fav sweet), a friend of mine tried to hook me up with ButterScotch in 2002 but I wasn't interested after a couple of conversations over the phone. Then summer 2003 at a paticular house party in Neasden, I saw the buffest guy there checking me out, after so many eye flirting, smiles and lip licking he eventually came up to me to ask for my name. We got talking all night and I was very quick to give him my number. Of course He waited 2days before He called me and it turned out His phone number was already stored in my phone, then it became obvious that he was a previous toaster, you see in London, once you get to meet all the guys here, you start again from the very beginning, in my case the new toasters I meet now, they have already approached me before some I can remember exactly when & where, some I cant even remember but then, their number would appear on my phone, I usually do the collecting of numbers from most guys.
Oh yeah ButterScotch, we ended up talking every day and I guess our fondness for each other grew cos all of a sudden he started asking for a much serious relationship. The thing is, as time grew by, I got really scared, scared of a relationship with him, cos I knew it would have been deep and I wasn't ready for that, I know some might think I am not making sense, but I run away from things that will make my heart bleed, I run from love, I run from any situation where I have to trust someone, I run from too much affection from guys, I admit I am a self-confessed Runaway-From-Relationship Addict (RAFRA). I switch off completely when I hear the words 'FOREVER' 'SERIOUS' or even 'FUTURE'. So, even when I meet someone I know I can like alot, the minute he starts talking deep, I start looking for faults from the littlest thing he does/says. Unfortunately ButterScotch came at the wrong time, He came when I wasn't looking for anything serious (as always) and there was no room for love in my plan for that year. I had so many things planned out and I needed to stay focus, so I toughened up and pulled out my extra tough cookie exterior, ButterScotch went nowhere, he was determined to break every shell of mine (that was his fav line), he tried and tried not a crack. He never gave up on me. Then of course I started looking for faults and making excuses with my girls why I don't need him in my life so they can be on my team.
In life no matter how much you try and deny something, your inner gutts always overflow in order to remind you of what you are trying to hide. I need to get offline now, my brother says I should bounce.
posted by 1511th | 7:45 PM
1 Comments:
so whats the deal with butterscotch now? you didnt complete the story! are you giving in?
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