My life....

...The Amazing life of a Young Adult. Adventures & Escapades of a mini-socialite. Life as I know it.

Location: London, United Kingdom

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

A Taboo?

I never set goals for myself or have "The Plan" telling me where I should be at a certain stage in Life. I usually go with the flow, I mean, after primary school is secondary school then college/university then marriage. But when it is all said and done, some people start craving a new challenge in life.

January 2006, during one of our what-to-do/I-need-a-new-challenge conversations, my close friend and I decided to set a simple goal that would be accomplished by December 2006.

The Plan:

  • Save a Million Naira each by December 2006, God willing
  • Spend it all by December 2006 by either starting a business or investing all the money in other companies/products in Nigeria.

Theoretically, it is a simple plan, though quite risky. Honestly, the risk makes the whole plan more exciting and easier to follow. Knowing that I have 12months to save 1Million Naira and then spending it all before the New Year is a thrill.

But along the way, I am faced with a major problem, MyMumma. She seems to think it is a bad idea to go into business with any friend let alone my very good friend, (though growing up she constantly warned us not to have many female friends or what can happen when friendship goes wrong etc). She talks about how the friendship might change later on in life i.e. when we both marry etc and the business will end due to our differences or other people's opinions i.e. husband's.

Due to popular belief, when involving friendship with money, one has to decide which is more important but there are friendships that can survive anything and has not gone 'pop' yet because of money and it is the 21st century after all, there are a lot of legal works that will be carried out to prepare for such mishap in the future. But Mumma is so adamant with a passion and knowing her, she has probably started praying to God about it now. Even when she told one of my aunt about the path I want to take, trust Aunty was ever so quick to contribute her shares of "Yeeeee Pas" and talks about how it 'must' not happen, never.

Like it is an unwritten rule: Never set up a business with a friend/friends!

I mean, if I can not be business partner with someone I have been close to for over 15yrs, who can I do business with? Is it just a Nigerian mentality? Would this story be different, if my friend is a guy? I could go on with the questions till pigs fly and the picture still would not be clear as to why exactly going into business with a friend would turn out to be a disaster.....


Blogger Onada said...

i kinda agree with your mum, You have to be very careful about doing business with family and either they wont be serious enough or when it comes to money they'll become entirely different the same time those are risks u can decide if u want to take. Afterall there are as many success stories are there are unsuccessful one.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Kunle.... said...

I know what you mean onada, but I am sure there's a friend you share the same interest with and would like to start something with, especially for the input of their capital.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Biodun said...

I have been approached by my good friends too, to invest in some kind of business too but I didnt get into it, bcos it wasnt somethin I was intereted in, I totally understand ur mom's point of view...all I can say is this, any type of business is a risk with a friend or going solo. Also I think it is very important to pray about it n make sure you u have no doubts about it!

6:06 PM  
Blogger Freesias said...

I do agree with your mum. Mixing friendships with business can be disastrous without proper preparation. You have to evaluate your friend as you would any business/investing partner. If your evaluation is objective, you should reach the right answer. I wish you all the best!

11:17 PM  
Blogger TaureanMinx said...

How about you guys invest...seperately in the smae stocks maybe. If u insist on going into business, u guys have to have the same vision and be in sync. You have to be able to remove emotion from ur dealings cos thats the hardest thing, when ppl start worry about stepping on each others toes. Draw up the business plan and have scenarios based on fact and how you would deal with them before the event break up, marriage etc etc

4:34 PM  
Blogger Mona said...

I agree with Onada, when it comes to friends because if they feature in part of your business, it means they contribute to the face of your business when its time to reap. You seem like someone that knows many people, why not just get in touch with "contacts" not particularly ur close friends that have already (long running) good businesses and are willing to invest in you or you could get a loan?

And 1 million naira is 4000 pounds.

So that is my own view on biz with friends but then again, there are businesses that have prospered between friends ohhh (more with men than women) so weigh the pros and cons. Everyone has their own destiny, yours may or may not be with your friend.

P.S. Food for thought: what if the male-business partner you decided to do business with was your ex-boyfriend? Lolllllllll don't mind me oh I'm random I know.

P.P.S. I really like this post, makes us think, especially at times like this when this issue is on many of us's minds.... well done

4:03 PM  
Blogger ivieboh said...

i would be wary of mixing business and friendship, but like you said it may be better to go into something like that with someone you already know well and trust. good luck! 1million naira...not sure what the exchange rate is now but im thinking it would mean around $11K? ive already paid 12K for my student loans and it'll be a year in august since i started paying. by gods grace ill be done by feb 2007 so i can actually start saving for real investments.

9:21 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

sounds like a good plan. you just have to make sure you truly know the person well. i would tend to lean towards taking my mothers advice though.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Tutsy said...

I know u might hate me for saying this; but i do agree with ur mom. Getting involved in business with a friend is extremely risky....getting involved in a venture with a woman-friend is even risker. U know how we ladies are now...extremely sensitive, short-tempered, and quick to judge and blame each other.
Its okay to go into partnership with some one, just do it with someone u share a neutral bond with, not a close friend 'cuz even if y'all are cool for a while, eventually things would change and u might end up hurting each other's feelings and losing the firendship u once shared.

12:14 AM  
Blogger Pilgrimage to Self said...

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7:32 PM  
Blogger Onada said...

update your blog please.

8:31 PM  
Blogger Belle said...

If i come back and see the same old blog up **insert theat here** _____________________


9:32 PM  
Anonymous beenthere donethat said...

Well am so sori 2 disagree with u all on this topic!

Maybe its becos every1 says i think like a man

Back 2 d pt investments and anything that will make life better 4 women of our generatn shld be encouraged

I personally think u have a future oriented friend u should keep 4 good 4 even bringing those kinda goals 2 d fore at this age

Dats d difference btwn our mothers and us
They were/are too scared 2 take risks

And u cant have investments without taking huge risks

Granted she has a pt dnt mix biz with pleasure!but wots d worst thing thatll happen. U guys dnt suceed and all fails but guess wot u try n keep tryng

Besides u dntve 2 start a biz 2geda invests in stocks n bonds where the sucess or failure have nothing 2 do with any of u !

All d best

Beenthere donethat

4:02 AM  

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