Monday 4:28

Finally, taking a break from my work project and emailing "Clients". I have 32 minutes left to run out of work before I am begged to stay behind, but for some reason I tell you time seems to be taking a nap.

I have so much catching up to do but dont really know where to start. I have a job now, thank God for that and I promise to be healthy till I die, hence why I am now pumping cups upon cups of water a day to have flawless skin and shed the spotty one I have now thanks to Chicken-Pox. Saying that, I find I share my time between the ladies and my desk each day, I drink then drip...lol (get it!)

On my way back to my desk from one of my loo visit, I bumped into one of my Nigerian co-worker. I have never said a word to her before but I see her around the building, she called me over to her desk. Turns out she just got back from Dubai and decided to turn her workspace into a gold-trade centre. I so could not believe it. She had so called "Sterling Silver" (with her nigerian accent) that looked like aluminium wrapped in foil paper, men's watches and fashion rings displayed all over her. She must have seen the look of disgust on my face and decided to ask me if I prefer gold instead, before I could say anything, she brought out a huge suitcase from under her desk to show me what she had.

Told her I'll be back after work and rushed off, now i have to take the stairs out of the building this evening so as not to bump into her on my way to the lift. Actually, I would have to take the stairs this week cos I have no money for pahnda.

This got me thinking of my primary school, University of Lagos, Staff School. The teachers were just as bad when it came to trading within their jobs. Some made me hawk for them and go to other teachers to show them the products which was usually something with an awful smell like salty smoked fish or locust beans.... yuk

Happy New Year & Happy Monday

Happy New year and most importantly happy Monday. I am so excited to be back and yet I still have NOTHING to write about?!?!

Million thanks to everyone wanting me back especially Vickii, LondonBuki and Onada

Legend Weekend

Weekend was great, started off with my little cousin's 7th birthday party, got him Converse All-Star and he said in his words - “Aunty these are so cool, now I am mega cool”. Kids! Basically Saturday was filled with screaming kids and wails of - "Aunty give me cake" “Aunty where’s my parcel”.

I miss all those kids’ parties in Nigeria. If you are lucky, you get it organized by PartyPacks, Uncle Wole & co. With lanky men dressed in funny costumes (where they get it from is a million dollar question) not forgetting the scary clowns with weird face paintings and playing dancing competition to Shina Peters et al. I can not wait for my kids to come this world; I swear I’ll be organizing parties for them everyday (that’s if we are in Nigeria oh).

Monday, my sister and I ended up at some exclusive members-only club in London, Cabaret (Think that’s the right spelling). Highlight of my night was when my sister tapped me casually and asked me to look at the person at the table behind us, only for me to turn and see the Mr. John Legend in person (who is dating a Nigerian girl oh). He is so light and fine, not tall enough for a guy but amazingly gorgeous. I was amazed that no one was rushing/grabbing/crowding him, imagine, everyone acted so normal (well, we were at the VIP, so that might explain why).

I had to gather myself together and act calm and collected like I wasn’t star-struck at all, but I couldn’t stop glancing at him. Luckily for me, while on my way back from the loo, he was heading to the loo so we kind of ‘bumped’ into each other. He was so nice and drunk, he kept on talking to us but his silly oversabi master - bouncer kept on pulling him back. Sha, I got a picture with him, hahaha!
Somehow I feel, if he only he saw me when he was single, I could have been THE Nigerian Babe…Amen.

We had some new guy, Ryan Leslie who performed most of the night, his songs are quite nice I must say. There were other Z-list celebs there like Grace from BigBrother but who cares?

Now I am back to applying for jobs…. Oh well back to the norm!

The Waiting Game...

Hitherto have ye asked nothing in My name: ask, and ye shall receive, that
your joy may be full.....John 16:24

Reading LondonBuki's blog entry today reminded me of me. I too decided a while ago to talk to God about my problems rather than to friends but I must say, it is the hardest thing to do.

I believe in God and His goodness, I have faith that my prayers will be answered as long as I believe and all. But for someone as impatient as I am, I find the transition between trial to tribulations or test to testimonies the hardest thing to endure. It truly is a test of Faith because the wait allows room for doubting and fear and to be honest sometimes I have fallen and lost Faith while waiting because even though I start up with Faith, somewhere along the line I lose it and start having doubts.
I wish I know how to truly believe with all my heart to the end and accept that sometimes it will take time not instant response.

Monday...Blah

So after many months of staying indoors, well actually because of my stubborn chicken pox spots, I have been hiding indoors and avoiding any social gathering. I decided to go for the SimplyLive party at Zest on saturday, honestly it was fun while it lasted.

I don't know why I bother going to these Nigerian Parties, I mean, you've been to one you've been to all, nothing but a night of fakeness mixed with an aura of Plus de Fakeness (more fakeness), actually I know why I go - in order to "Network", sort of like a marketing strategy for single people and guys, (yep guys) cos in London apart from parties and clubs, there really is no where else to meet people.... (I think). There are hardly weddings and even if there are, its usually filled with parents and grandparents, and the people you club with. Let me not even talk about meeting people in church, I personally do not believe in it (heard too many sour stories).

Funny enough I never date guys I meet in clubs or regard them as serious prospects (personal preference) but I keep going to these parties cos you never know, there just might be a new 'kid' in town....lol. So until then, I need to carry on with my usual - air-kissing my way through to every Nigerian gathering while spotting the season's must-have, AfakeSmile.

My older sister had food-poisoning yesterday after eating the spoilt salad I warned her not to, so all she did yesterday was hold her belly and slept in the toilet all day. But it made me realise, as women, the older we get the harder it is for people to believe one can have a case of plain old belly ache (which makes you vomit) without actually being PREGNANT. So you can imagine how many people kept on asking her, are you sure you are not pregnant, during her vomiting sessions.

I learnt this weekend, that we never really know our true friends until we are all married. As far-fetched as this may seem to me now, I somewhat believe, because I have friends that have oh so strayed because they are in a relationship and the only time they call me is clearly when they have evidently been in some shape or form of fight with their partner, so I can imagine what will become of them when push becomes shove (marriage). Though I do wonder if this applies to guys sha.

Congratulations LondonBuki on going through and completing your race. Shows alot about your character and your attitude to things. You go girl!

November

I got this junk mail recently and I must admit, I was amazed at how accurate it is, (for me sha). I have always wondered how the people who sit and write these things get their facts right...ish. But come on, not every one born in November will have the same characteristics, or do they? Oh well, have fun reading yours, mine made me smile and even got a couple of nods...lol

Pick the MONTH that you were born in & put it on the SUBJECT LINE. People might understand you better.

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious. _______________________________________________

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside........Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
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MARCH: Attractive personality, sexy. Affectionate, Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
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APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory........ Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their luver can see. _________________________________

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift. _________________________________
JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive........ Stubborn.
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JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. __________________________________
AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends ..
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SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings........ Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic. _________________________________

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children. _________________________________

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others.Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited........ Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable
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DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy Strong lover. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Loves to love.Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions.

How do I cope ......

When everything I have set out to do, I have almost achieved it, without dropping out even when things were hard or when I needed encouragement from the people I loved the most but never got it. When I have all these ideas and aspiration to be successful in everything I do and want to do. When I know for sure I will be great in this world and all my dreams will come to past, but some where along the line, I allow myself to get carried away by your words all because I was seeking your attention, your - I am proud of you, your - thank you for being a good girl, your - I am glad you are mine.

How do I cope after you tell me I am nothing but a dissappointment, dad?

Ok, I am off to dance, I have decided to dance for atleast one hour a day, to drop a bra-size. I refuse to let you get to me...lol

Meanwhile, how do I cope when I have a big belly that has refused to be flat, not like I want a six-pack or anything oh, just a nice flat belly menh, that's all!

A Taboo?

I never set goals for myself or have "The Plan" telling me where I should be at a certain stage in Life. I usually go with the flow, I mean, after primary school is secondary school then college/university then marriage. But when it is all said and done, some people start craving a new challenge in life.

January 2006, during one of our what-to-do/I-need-a-new-challenge conversations, my close friend and I decided to set a simple goal that would be accomplished by December 2006.

The Plan:

• Save a Million Naira each by December 2006, God willing
• Spend it all by December 2006 by either starting a business or investing all the money in other companies/products in Nigeria.

Theoretically, it is a simple plan, though quite risky. Honestly, the risk makes the whole plan more exciting and easier to follow. Knowing that I have 12months to save 1Million Naira and then spending it all before the New Year is a thrill.

But along the way, I am faced with a major problem, MyMumma. She seems to think it is a bad idea to go into business with any friend let alone my very good friend, (though growing up she constantly warned us not to have many female friends or what can happen when friendship goes wrong etc). She talks about how the friendship might change later on in life i.e. when we both marry etc and the business will end due to our differences or other people's opinions i.e. husband's.

Due to popular belief, when involving friendship with money, one has to decide which is more important but there are friendships that can survive anything and has not gone 'pop' yet because of money and it is the 21st century after all, there are a lot of legal works that will be carried out to prepare for such mishap in the future. But Mumma is so adamant with a passion and knowing her, she has probably started praying to God about it now. Even when she told one of my aunt about the path I want to take, trust Aunty was ever so quick to contribute her shares of "Yeeeee Pas" and talks about how it 'must' not happen, never.

Like it is an unwritten rule: Never set up a business with a friend/friends!

I mean, if I can not be business partner with someone I have been close to for over 15yrs, who can I do business with? Is it just a Nigerian mentality? Would this story be different, if my friend is a guy? I could go on with the questions till pigs fly and the picture still would not be clear as to why exactly going into business with a friend would turn out to be a disaster.....

Fun? Where are you?

If I could go back to any point in my life right now, it would be me back in my secondary school days, simply because no matter what I was going through then (trust me, there were times I thought my world would end), I still had time to have fun. I was able to block out everything and have mad, care-free, risky fun. Fun I knew would turn my temporary pleasure to pain (lashings/slaps from my father).

Little things like sneaking out of the house to go next door and roam the streets or going to the vulcanizer to fix my bicycle tyres and then riding it on the road or steal from Aboki (the mallam) and letting him chase us, after a depressing moment was well worth it.

Somewhere along the line, I have been caught up with worries of tomorrow, fear of making the wrong career move, afraid of God missing my prayers cause I am really not that close to him. Hopes and dreams seem to be fading so fast, everything in my life is cloudy, I am all burnt out!

Wait, I really can not remember the last time I had Fun. Is it beacuse I have reached a stage in life where I have to show I can "be" responsible (crossing over from child to adult) and I can not take uncalculated risk again because I am in my mid-20s where I tend to overanalyse EVERYTHING ,

Then again I might just be simply boring............ I miss fun!!